Extract 4: After the police had left the coffee shop and disappeared, Walid killed Michelle. He stands next to her body.
Walid: I think it will rain today. What do you think? I want it to rain but not once did it happen the way I wanted. Look at your hair. You should take a shower because it looks dirty. You disgust me.
There is nothing in the sky except clouds. It will definitely rain. I want to go out, lie on the ground, look at the sky and watch the rain fall. I wish I could sleep. I am sleeping but I don’t know how to sleep. I am dreaming of things that make no sense, things that have nothing to do with me. I am seeing people in my dreams that I don’t know, houses I have never been to, pictures and things that have no connection with my life.
Maybe I forgot everything…no there is one thing I haven’t forgotten, it’s the first time I had a white hair. I asked mom why do I have white hair like my grandfather, aren’t I still young? She answered me saying that white hair grows when the person feels scared or jumps out of fear. I didn’t believe her because one time she told me that I was born in a bag of stars.
My white hair was increasing. I thought if I leave it, it will all become white, I was afraid it might go back to its natural color. I convinced myself that I should be scared, I was convinced, then I really got scared. I was afraid of everything. I was afraid of my parents, of my friends, I was afraid to talk to people, to listen to them. I was afraid of the streets, of the planes, of the cars, of the barriers, of the accidents, of the war, I was afraid of traveling, I was afraid of growing, of the days and the years, of time, of night and day. I was afraid to sleep and wake up alone. I was afraid to be asked and not to able to answer. I was afraid not to know how to lie or steal or kill. I was afraid not to fall in love, not to love you. I apologize for not knowing how to love you, because I didn’t learn this, because I don’t understand this, because I am afraid, because you scare me, because if I love you, you will confuse me and you will hurt me, just like before, just like you do every time, just like every time I think I forgot about you, but you always came back and remind me, because you are like her, exactly like her, you are Beirut.
I killed you because you like to be the victim just like Beirut. Because you made me suffocate, because you are not allowing me to think, because I am stuck in my place, because I became devious, a sellout, ridiculous and without a memory, so you can become the victim, because you need me to become the victim. I killed you because you are like air, I can’t see you, but I have all the time and you can attack me without me being able to fight back or protect myself from you.
I give up.
I gave up. My white hair will continue to increase. I still have one bullet. I don’t know what to do with it, but I will keep it because every time I look at the sky of Beirut, I hear voices that trouble me “kaii…kaii…kaii”, then, only then will I know that the eagles have arrived.
Walid goes out from the store door to the street. He stands in front of the door, observing what’s outside. He sits in front of the store and smokes a cigarette. In the middle of the stage, at the background, someone is advancing slowly. As Walid puts out his cigarette, the officer arrives and he is stands opposite to Walid.
Walid: have you been waiting for a long time?
Officer: too long.
Walid: Can I buy a pack of cigarettes before we go?
Officer: You are not allowed to smoke where we are taking you but I can allow you this one request.
Walid: Thank you. Is there a place on our way?
Officer: There are thousands of places.
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